You may wonder what one does when the big plans come crashing down and life deals you a different scenario. How do you break the news to your loved ones, friends, and supporters that you are not setting out to do the great event that was planned? How do you deal with all of the feelings that are going on inside, and how do you decide what to do next?
Lots of questions, and I don’t really believe there is a ‘right’ answer. You just do what you feel is best to do. You make your choices, live with them, and move on. One thing I do know though is that there is responsibility in caring about people, and one of those responsibilities is to simply let them know how you are doing so they don’t have to worry. Personally, I found that not everyone liked the choices I made, but they appreciated hearing from me, knowing I was OK, and the communication meant ALOT to them. My email to family and friends…
As most of you should know by now, I did not depart on my ocean rowing expedition, which due to delays, left La Gomera just 48 hours ago. This last week, since the decision for me to not participate was reached, has been a very challenging one for me. Despite the challenges, and needing time myself to sort out what just really happened, I have attempted to reassure people that I am ok. I know in situations such as what just occurred, that one has to be careful in communicating things out of context. Expeditions have a certain level of stress associated with them, and ocean rowing expeditions are no different.
Ocean rowing is also a very small community, and given that I still want to row an ocean (and am already receiving offers to do so in the future), I am trying to navigate a bad experience with as much grace as possible. What I can say is that contractual agreements between the race organizer and our team were not met, and we had a boat delivered to La Gomera that was nowhere near ready, and had so many leaks that had to be discovered and fixed that it was rough from day 1. This dramatically hindered our team in our preparations for an Atlantic crossing, of which I take very seriously, especially when the responsibility for others lives was on my shoulders. Bottom line of what went awry in the end, I will have to chalk it up to irreconcilable differences. I know it’s human nature to want to know all of the nitty gritty details, but I need to ask that my vagueness of details more than I have offered be respected for all involved. I can only wish the rest of the women now a safe and successful crossing.
For me, this is just another one of those $&!?#*%! learning experiences. I am going to be taking the rest of December to sort out some personal matters, and gain some more perspective on the lessons to be learned and how I want to proceed going forward. Opportunity is always there, one just needs to recognize it when it comes knocking.Thank you all again for you love and support.